Walking on the Right Path

Originally posted on my Friendster blog, September 25, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Sometimes when I'm not doing anything and just laying on the bed, I can't help but wonder how my friends and all other people I knew in highschool and college are doing. I wonder what they already look like, what they do for a living, who and what kind of person they married, or where they're living. It's been quite a long time since I last saw most of them and I can't even remember the last names anymore of those who weren't close to me. That's why I'm glad whenever I read the words "New Friendster Friend Request" and the name or picture of someone I had known from the past comes up. But to those who I'm still in touch with, I have at least an idea of what's going on in their lives and they too have a glance of my current life situation. When I receive a private message or comment from them on Friendster, I'm touched to know that they are happy for me and my married life. There were even some who told me that they're jealous because I have managed to walk on the right direction.

Looking back, it was never easy for me to keep my feet on the right side of the road. In fact there were times when I almost stepped beyond the line but I was lucky enough to have 2 persons in my life who pulled me back everytime they saw that I could cross that line anytime...and they were my parents. I must say that college was when I felt most miserable. Not only because I was away from my family, but also because I didn't like the city I was living in. I hated the dialect, the people were different, and I didn't like my school. It was a pretty good school, I just hated the rules and regulations because they were too strict. To add that, I regretted taking my degree because I realized when I was in my second year that to be a media personality wasn't really what I wanted. I wished I studied a computer or business course instead. But it was too late to shift to either of these two. Besides, my parents weren't cash-cows that could afford whenever I wanted to quit and switch to a new degree. I also wanted to finish college the soonest time possible. I hated school!

My friends made my college life a bit easier to handle. I always had good laughs everytime I was around them. But of course we also had dramas and fights but the longest fight I could remember lasted for only a week or so. But the hardest part was that my standards and beliefs were different from theirs. For every glass of alcohol offered to me, I had to say "no" at least 5 times. At first it was hard for them to understand why it was a big deal to me. They did all the convincing that they could. I felt pressured all the time but my stand was firm enough not to be shaken, until my friends couldn't take any more disappointment, haha. The reward was respect. On those instances when someone passed around a glass of drink again, they had to skip me. They wouldnt even ask anymore because they already knew what my response would be. There was one time that we had dinner with a group of guys I didn't even know. But these people were friends of one of my barkada. One of the guys offered me a glass of alcohol and before he could finish talking I already said "No." He thought I didn't mean it so he was persistent. He eventually stopped. The next day at school, my friends told me that the same guy secretly asked them the night before if I really didn't drink at all or if I was just trying to impress the group of guys around. I couldn't help but laugh when they told me this. But my friends told him that getting me to drink is an impossible mission and they explained to him why :)

Like what I said in the 2nd paragraph, my parents were the ones who kept me on the right track. I guess you'll understand if I tell you that I went through a rebellious stage. And if you're a girl, I'm sure you'll understand me even more if I tell you that my rebellion was to defend my right of choosing which person I wanted to be in a relationship with. You're probably getting the hint by now. So yea, I was one of those young girls who thought they knew what was best for them and that parents were the most "killjoy" people in the world when it comes to their daughter's lovelife. Needless to say, I was in a relationship with someone my parents or maybe even my sisters disliked. And they had every reason not to like him. He drank, smoked, had a history of drug use (I wasn't sure if he still used drugs during those months that we were together), and he was a spoiled brat. But I was very naive and hoped that I could change him for the better, and I did try. To make the long story short, the relationship ended because of my parents' total disapproval. I was at first very mad at them and felt like I was deprived of the right to make my own decisions. But now when I look back at that time in my life, I'm always grateful for what my parents did to protect me. Sometimes I even ask myself, "What was I thinking?". I hated how our home was always like under martial law. My sisters and I had to listen to what our father would say whether we liked it or not. Then I realized that if it wasn't for that "martial law" , I would have gone astray since I'm very stubborn. I would have married the wrong person. I can't imagine what kind of life I would have been living by now, had my parents not interfered and I continued my relationship with that guy. I'm also proud of myself that despite my stubbornness and rebellious spirit, I always chose to use my head and not let my emotions control me. I was very depressed that if some other girl were on my shoes, she would have either committed suicide or ran away with her boyfriend. I'm glad the attempt of doing such things never even crossed my mind.

It is indeed true that the choices we make today will affect the later years of our lives. Like what they say, regrets always come at the end. It's you who choose to be happy or unhappy depending on the decisions you make. I must say that prayers helped me make the right choices I've made in my life. With prayers as your guide, you can never go wrong. Also, I've learned that it's good to surround yourself with good people because the ones you always spend time with will have the biggest influence on your decisions and choices. There are still so many choices and decisions to make ahead of me, and like my life, I'm also far from perfection. Therefore, there is no assurance that I can keep walking on the right road. But I do everything I can to keep myself standing firmly on the road I'm at right now, so that no matter how many storms in life come, I will be strong enough not to get blown away and tossed by the wind that will take me to the wrong side.♥